Part I: Hop Hop Hillbillies
In the middle of a warm spring night, a loud bang was heard in the farmhouse.
“Did you hear that?” Tate asked Tater. After no response, he started shaking his brother. “Tater...Tater...TATER!”
Tater shot up into a sitting position. “Huh? Huh? I’m up!” He exclaimed. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I heard a noise in the living room. I think someone broke in.”
“A home intruder?! Well, brother, it looks like we need to defend the castle.”
“But, Tater, we don’t live in a castle.”
“Oh, you’re right,” Tater said. “Well, we still need to defend. You with me, Tate?” He picked up a pitchfork.
“Yep!” Tate nodded his head in agreement, tying his bandana. He then grabbed a rubber duck. “Oops.” He tossed it over his shoulder and grabbed a wooden paddle.
“Alright, let’s move out,” Tater said.
The two boys made their way to the living room. As they entered, they saw a large figure with a mysterious item in their hands. Tate ran forward. “Stop right there, robber!”
The two potatoes wrestled with the home invader. The boys put up a good fight but were ultimately no match for the robber. The little potatoes were flung away as the mysterious figure dashed out the front door.
“They’re getting away!” Tate scrambled to his feet.
“We can’t let them get too far, now. Charge!” Tater released his rally cry as they made quick work trailing after the dastardly invader.
The brothers were quick to catch up. They were nearly within arms reach and had attempted to catch a pant leg multiple times. Tate had enough after the fourth failed attempt. He mustered up what strength he had left in his little tuber body and lunged for the creature.
The large figure tumbled and Tate ended up flung into a nearby trashcan. Tater came skidding to a halt. He grabbed a nearby stick and started poking the home invader perpetrator. “They’re out cold.”
Tate walked back up, picking a banana peel off of his head. “Well,” he drawled, “let’s bring them back to the farm and ask some questions.”
The mighty potatoes picked the unconscious figure up and made their way back home. Once they arrived, they unceremoniously dropped their new guest on their living room floor.
“Phew.” Tater wiped a bit of sweat from his brow. “We made it. Boy, this fella sure was heavy.”
“Yeah! Fluffy, too.” Tate picked up what the mysterious robber had been holding on to, before their tumble. “And what is this basket that was in their hand?”
“Hmm.” Tater raised an eyebrow, inspecting the basket carefully. “This looks like some kind of Easter basket.”
“An Easter basket? Why would a burglar have an Easter basket?” Tate’s voice was filled with confusion. “And why are they dressed like a bunny? Don’t robbers usually wear all black or something?”
“Good point, Tate. Let’s see who’s behind this mask.” Tater hopped up on the unconscious robber’s face and started tugging at the fur around the neck. “Why is this thing on so tight? How can someone even breathe in this?” The mask wouldn’t budge, no matter how hard Tater pulled.
Tate watched his brother struggle, deep in contemplation. He started scratching his head, looking down at the basket, then back at the figure. His eyes widened as he realized the situation they were in. “Uh, Tater…” He whispered.
“What?” Tater grunted, still tugging with all of his might to reveal the robber’s identity.
“That’s not a mask.”
Part II: Duty calls
Tater stopped, still perched atop the furry face of the unconscious invader. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Tater, I...I think we kidnapped the Easter Bunny!”
“The Easter Bunny?!” Tater shouted, running over to this brother. “Oh no! What are we going to do, Tate?”
The gravity of the situation suddenly hit Tate. “I don’t know, Tater.” He grabbed his brother by the shoulders and started to shake him. “We’re gonna be in so much trouble!”
Tater removed his hysteric brother’s hands from his shoulders and clasped one hand on Tate’s right shoulder in an attempt to reassure his brother. “Calm down, Tate. We can fix this.” He then gestured both hands to himself. “I mean, I can fix anything. Remember that one time I fixed Curly’s staff with nothing but elbow grease and some tree sap?”
“Good point. Okay, okay.” Tate nodded, calming down.
“Let me check if she’s still got a pulse.” Tater hopped up onto the Easter Bunny’s stomach and started listening for a heartbeat. His shoulders relaxed once he heard the reassuring soft and rhythmic thumping. “She’s still alive! She’s just knocked out.”
“Phew, great.” Tate wiped his brows with the back of his hand. “Well, in that case, how do we wake her up.”
“Hmmm….I have just the idea.”
The two potatoes then returned with a car battery and jumper cables. Just as they were about to attach the cables, the Easter Bunny woke up. “Jumping deviled eggs!” The bunny bolted upright into a sitting position, sending the potatoes flying with their cables.
Once the cables were a much safer distance from their face, the bunny calmed down. She looked at the potatoes on the ground. “Do you boys know how much trouble you’re in?”
“We’re sorry Easter Bunny!” The boys said in unison. “Please don’t put us on some kind of naughty list!”
“Well, luckily for the both of you, this town is my last stop. So, you’re not in much trouble. However,” she gestured towards her red ankle, “it seems in your little act, I twisted my ankle. So, I guess some people won’t be getting anything this year.” She lamented with a sigh.
Tate and Tater looked at each other and realized what they had to do.
“Um, excuse me, Miss Bunny.” Tater cleared his throat, stepping forward. “Is there any way my brother and I could deliver the last baskets? It’s the least we can do.”
After a moment, the bunny, left with no other options, agreed. “Fine. Tell you what, I’ve only got a few more left. If you can do this, then maybe I’ll not only forget all about our little fight, but I’ll also give you double the baskets next year.”
“Deal!” Tater turned to his brother. “Come on, Tate. We’ve got some baskets to give out.”
The two potatoes grabbed the remaining Easter baskets and headed out to accomplish their task. They arrived at their first destination.
“We’ve made it,” Tater said. “Now, how do you get in?”
“We could go down the chimney?” Tate offered.
“No. That’s Santa’s thing.” Tater started to think. “I guess we could go through the window.”
“Great idea, Tater!” Tate then grabbed a nearby garden gnome and chucked it into the window before jumping through his new entrance.
Tater face palmed.
Once inside, they made a beeline for the living room and left out the goodies. “Alright, now it’s time for the eggs.” Tater started to peel an egg. “You know, Tate, this is the part of Easter that I always get sad about. I mean, all this work that goes into making these eggs and-” Tater stops when he looks over to see Tate eating whole eggs. “Tate!”
Part III: Breaking and Eggs
“What?” Tate garbled with a mouthful of eggs.
“Tate, you need to remove the shells first.”
“But eating the eggs whole will save time.” Tate reasoned. “Oh, good point.” Tater started eating the eggs whole as well.
Once they finished, they made their way to their next stop. Tate grabbed a landscaping brick and reared back to chuck it through the window. Tater just managed to snatch it from his brother’s hands. “No!”
“Well, how are we gonna get in, Tater?”
“Watch this.” Tater hopped atop the nearby bushes and started pushing the window up. He gestured towards the bottom half. “Ta-da. We jump in through here.”
“Oh, I see.” Tate hopped up beside his brother, then lunged himself through the upper portion of the window.
Tater stared into the new hole his brother made and sighed deeply. “This is going to be a long night.”
Once inside, Tater arranged the baskets while Tate started on the eggs. He felt hot air on his back. "Uh, Tate, do you mind? I can't work with you breathing down my back."
"I'm right beside you, Tater."
Tater looked over to his right, where his brother stood. "Then..." He trailed off as he turned around. "Oh." His voice faltered as he was faced with a rottweiler. "Nice doggy." He tried to reason, slowly sidestepping.
The dog watched as the two potatoes took slow steps back. Once they felt they had put enough distance, they turned and made a break for the window. The dog was quick behind them.
"Is this how the Easter bunny felt?" Tater screamed as he held onto his hat, going as fast as his legs would carry him.
"We really need to apologize!"
The two climbed the radiator in the blink of an eye. Tate had just pulled his leg up before the rottweiler smacked face-first into it. The two started laughing and taunting their pursuer. The dog growled and lunged up, nearly snapping Tater's hat.
The boys scrambled the rest of the way out the window, thankful to feel the grass beneath their feet once they reached the ground.
Their night continued, albeit with a few mishaps, until they reached their last stop of the night. They came up to a large wrought-iron gate that led to a stone mansion.
“Well, here it is.” Tater smiled. “Our last stop of the night.”
Tate whistled. “It’s a big one too.” He stared up at the imposing gate. “So, first we gotta get some rope. Then, we’ll climb over the gate. After that we-”
“Um, Tate, we can just walk through the gate holes.” Tater was already on the other side, staring at his brother.
“Oh, right.”
“Alright Tate, I’ll get started on the eggs. You set the basket up.” Tater slid the window open.
“Don’t worry, Tater. I’ll make it look al-” Tate fell off the hedge, sending all the contents of the basket flying. “Owh, my head.” He rubbed his head as he sat up. His eyes caught the shattered remains of the toy car that broke his fall. “Oh no! I broke it! What do we do, Tater?”
“Don't worry, Tate. We can just substitute for some other goods. I'll go get some eggs. Tate, you find some things to fill the basket up with.”
Part IV: Easy like Easter morning
“Roger that!” Once Tater disappeared into the house, Tate started looking around. “What can I put in this?” He snapped his fingers. “I got it! Easter is in spring, so I’ll put spring-related items in here.” Tate grabbed a few fistfuls of dirt and some flowers. He went inside and started building his masterpiece. He stepped back and stared at the basket for a moment. Something was still missing. “That’s it!” Tate made his way back outside to grab his final piece.
He returned and placed a garden gnome in the center as the star of the show. “There, perfect.”
“Okay, Tate. I’m back and-” Tater stared at the basket with a blank expression.
“Something wrong, Tater?”
“No, Tate. This is fine. I’m just going to put these eggs in the basket.” Tater placed the eggs and turned to Tate. “Let’s get out of here.”
By the time they made their way back home, the sun was beginning to rise. They were happy their night of labor was over.
“I’m glad that’s over,” Tate said.
“Me too. My tummy hurts. I think those shells aren’t sitting well. That, or it’s salmonella.” Tater rubbed his aching stomach.
Upon opening the door, they were greeted by two baskets sitting on their table with a note attached to one.
“Look, a note.” Tater grabbed it and started to read.
“Dear Tate and Tater, Thanks for wrapping up my delivery for the year. I’m going to let the cat out of the bag, or in this case, the bunny. My ankle is fine. I just wanted to get you boys back for your little stunt. A little break never hurts, either.
As a way of showing my appreciation, here are your Easter baskets.
P.S. How do I know your names? Much like my friend at the North Pole, I know everyone’s names and who’s been bad or good. So remember, be good!
Happy Easter.
E.B.”
“Wow, how nice of her.” Tater starts rummaging his hand around his basket. He feels a sharp object latch onto his hand. “Hmm?” He pulls his hand up to reveal a bear trap. “Oh.” He dropped his basket and started running around, screaming as he attempted to remove the bear trap. “Ouch! My hand! Get it off! Get it off!”
Tate laughed, watching his brother run around. “Wow, Tater. She got you good.” He dunked his head into his basket, only to have a bee hive stuck to the top of his head. “Oh, this ain’t good.” Tate joined his brother in running about the room.
As the two ran around, screaming and flailing about, they weren’t paying attention. They run into each other, knocking themselves out. Outside, the Easter Bunny was watching the chaos from the window. “Well, I sure did get those boys back.” She laughed and hopped away, eating her popcorn.